Clash of the Titans…
Popcorn season is upon us. How do we know this? Because the first ridiculous over the top no plot movie of the summer has been released…aka Clash of the Titans. Unfortunately, and hopefully this is not an omen for the upcoming season, but I was disappointed by it.
How could they go wrong? It’s a revenge flick with Greek gods and a fucking Kraken (which I should add was never ever mentioned in Greek mythology). But they somehow manage to make it completely unexciting. For the 100+ million dollars they spent on this thing it’s remarkable how much of a yawnfest it is.
Throughout the entire file I had no idea who the fuck anyone was. Yes Zeus, Hades, and Perseus are easy to figure out. But everyone else, I couldn’t tell you who they were if my life depended on it, which just added to my sense of detachment because I never saw the characters and just saw Sam Worthington in a tunic.
Ok, so no big deal, character development goes out the window. I can work with this. I’ve seen plenty of movies without character development, I can deal. Granted this is flying into Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever range, but there is still time for a course correction. Maybe? Hopefully? It’s fucking Greek mythology, how can someone fuck that up?
Unfortunately that course correction was a nose dive into boredom. Nothing makes you smile, nothing makes you say wow. You are just going through the motions, like a couple that’s been together for 30 years. You can anticipate the moves, you know what’s coming, you’re just waiting for the end so that you can get on with your life. No spice or surprise. Both parties just roll over semi fulfilled and go to sleep.
I don’t even know if I want to recommend this as a renter. I guess the Kraken, but its short lived and unfulfilling, much like the boring sex from the couple analogy above. The Kraken appears and is then defeated. It doesn’t even get to wreak any havoc. So boo on that. Save your time and money and watch something else.
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